Ever wondered how mobile phones went from the size of a small terraced house in Barnsley to something you can slip into your pocket? Miniaturization, pure and simple. No alien spacecraft crash-landed and we culled its technology. Humans are not that clever. Man was once telepathic and didn’t need mobile phones to tell the wife he’d be late home from the Mastodon hunt. But humans like making hard work and re-inventing the wheel so inevitably they lost that ability to make room for mobile phones. Incidentally he used to be able to teleport too, that’s how the wheel came about. The conversation went something like this:
God: Everything all right mate?
Man: Not really something is missing.
God: So telepathy, teleportation, infinite love, abundance, happiness and angel cake not enough for you then?
Man: No. Her indoors wants some excitement; something to moan about and I wouldn’t mind a bigger cock or a fast car.
God: You ungrateful Git. I’ll learn you.
God then washed his hands of man and told some naughty aliens about bagpipes and golf.
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