Monday 22 December 2008

21 PASTIMES/SPORT/ATHLETICS

Every day in the national press the population of the planet have to listen to aggrieved athletes complaining that their lottery grants and government awards are not enough for them to continue their dream. Here's some news for them. Athletics is shit. It's so shit that even the BBC have managed to keep television rights to it. And unless Belfour Beatty have branched out into human cloning by the time this blog is published, building a new 40000 all-seater stadium in East London isn't going to help either. The athletics authorities have to work with the changing times and relax their overly-stringent drugs laws. The crowds would pile back in numbers to see the women’s cocaine bob-sleigh or the men’s senior heroin javelin, and although the dope decathlon may drag on a bit, the speedball 110m hurdles would be over in the blink of a dilated eye-lid, and let's face it, who wouldn't tune in to Sky Sports 1 to see the highly awaited international woman’s crack-wh0re heptathlon.

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