Tuesday, 10 March 2009


Before man became infatuated with erotica the primary use for a vagina was as a musical instrument. Procreation was a very tepid third. Various forms of vaginal instrument were available, from the stringed instrument to the percussion.
The stringed instrument was a very delicate affair, involving the ladies pubic hair being strung over the echo cavity and plucked very much like a wee harp.
The wind instrument was perhaps the most difficult to play, relying on exquisite breath control to blow into a catheter that would direct the air over the opening and extraordinary muscle mastery to alter the shape of the chamber and thus produce the different notes.
The Percussion Vagina was not for the faint hearted and special stamina training was required to handle some of the more energetic compositions at the height of Vaginal Music’s popularity.
The Kunt Kazoo was the most popular. The ladies of the orchestra would lay back wearing nothing but wax panties into which the Kunt Kazooist would hum. Kazoo solos could go on, and this is the reason that the popularity of the music died out. No one wanted to train for the more difficult vaginal disciplines when the kazoo was such a pleasure. And no one really wanted to sit through 3 hours of humming and moaning in the name of high art.

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