95 Mysteries/Puzzles/Why Do Women Talk About Nothing?

Women chatter. They can talk for hours about almost nothing. Often on public transport they will gossip at one another with abandon. No information will be relayed or received by either party. It is like an idling engine, the parts are moving but the vehicle is going nowhere. It is as if they are keeping ready for something. Like a warrior will still train for conflict in times of peace, a woman trains linguistically in times of confusion.
Woman’s primary role is as a chaos maker. All the clues are there: Eve and the apple, damming the entire human race to an eternity of suffering. Boadicea gave the Romans a beating and in the process doomed the British to deep fried lard with everything instead of a healthy Mediterranean diet. Joan of Arc threw the French into shock and chaos by actually winning wars for them. Sharon Osborne enough said. And marriage.
The world is currently in such disarray that this discordant womanly skill is not needed.
It is in no ones interest to achieve total annihilation of the human race, so if it looks like the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are about to invite the Hoards of Hell to a barn dance, 3 billion persuasive linguistic engines will shift into gear and the soothing words ‘Leave it John, he ain’t worth it’ will be heard and the balance will shift towards peace and harmony. However, this state will never be achieved because women love shoes and chocolate. A satisfied human would only require a small piece of chocolate after a modest repast, and one pair of well made comfortable shoes. Where is the fun in that? So just as peace is about to be realised, ‘I’m happy, but something is missing’ will be uttered, sending the balance back towards war.
And so the human race is doomed to an ever-repeating pattern of war/peace/war, until someone invents the chocolate shoe to confuse women and render them speechless.