Wednesday 1 July 2009

112 Law/EU Bureaucracy/Song Lyrics

After 31 December 2009, it will become illegal to make any mention of feet and inches, pounds and ounces, pints and gallons in activities relating to economics, health, safety, administration and song lyrics. This is good and bad news. The ever emotive ‘the pounding of my heart’ becomes the sanitised ‘ the 453.59237 gramming of my heart’. However the Rolling Stones are ‘pleased in principle’ at their future name change to The Rolling 6.35 kilograms, and the Italian crooner Paolo Conte will provide great hilarity as he tries to get his latin tongue around ‘Happy 30.48 centimetres’.
The band ‘Nine Inch Nails’ has had a mare. A nail is 1/16th of a yard. They are not happy and have asked if they can combine and round up to the slightly more simple 0.04 metres.
The front man of the Pogues, Shane McGowan, is furious. He is no longer allowed to say firkin and has to use 318.2 litres instead.
The esoteric post rock madness art band ‘Bushel Bovate Barleycorn and the Butt Hundred Weight Ounce Pints’ are as pleased as Punch, as their name works out to be the very cool ‘Mega Mole’, which saves them loads on printing costs. By extraordinary coincidence, Mega Mole’s imperial unit obsessed lyrics translate into beautiful sonnets that have been hailed as the modern Shakespeare and sales of their 16 concept albums are set to soar in 2010.

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