Rimington Smyth-Knismesis is the gentleman's gentlemen and the best paid hooker in the world. Remington specialises in the needs of the urbane, well-healed individual and is in constant demand. He has exacting standards of his clientele, and they must be immaculately turned out before they can enter his chambers. His manservant, Nickleby Nonce, is there to provide last minute grooming for punters who arrive slightly dishevelled. Spit and polish shoe shining, wet shave, manicure and fluffing are just some of Mr Nonce's services.
Rimington will greet his customers with a firm handshake and a pithy comment concerning the weather. Hand relief and oral are they only utilities he supplies, and is expert in both. The whole messy business is over in seconds. His real skill lies in the mop up operation as any stray flying semen is quickly cleared and banished to his patented 'seed incinerator'. Awkward silences are smoothed over with his masterful knowledge of cricket and adroit prediction of England's chances in the latest test.
Unsurprisingly Rimington is not popular with the ladies. He thinks a clitoris is a type of fruit to be found in New Guinea.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment