Sunday 27 June 2010
WWW.CultComedy.NET
Our new site is www.CultComedy.NET. It is 145.67% funnier than this old site and 53.6% more likely to get laid by Emma Bunton
Tuesday 22 June 2010
124 Mysteries/Puzzles/Credit Crunch
124 Mysteries/Puzzles/Credit Crunch
A credit crunch is a reduction in the number of loans from a bank; less money, less wealth, less stuff. So why is your best mate still driving a new car every six months, going on fancy holidays and sending his mum flowers on a weekly basis. This is due to a human selection bias. Simply put you have many friends all doing slightly better than you in one area of your life. But your bastard mind makes it look like all of them are doing incredibly well in all areas of life and laughs at your pathetic achievements. Dust off that Duke of Edinburgh bronze award and be proud. But that’s another story (See 125 Animals/Humans/Mind).
Maximilly Von Lucrative (See 98 Employment/jobs/lawyers) invented the credit crunch in an attempt to bankrupt Benedict Farse (See 30 Animals/Humans/Bill Gates). To create a credit crunch you need a sustained period of careless and inappropriate lending. Loans turn sour. This leads to losses for lenders and the borrowers. Interest rates should normally rise to make it more difficult to borrow, less money and everyone goes bankrupt. But this hasn’t happened. Interest rates have gone down and there is more money sloshing about than lube at a lesbian lido.
What went wrong?
Nothing.
Max is right on course to bring down the Mighty Farse. Because Max is a really evil man, he has decided to inflate the bubble again, so the impending crash will be even more catastrophic.
Fortunately Max has such utter, diabolical adamantine depravity he will inflate this bubble to infinity. So one new pence invested today will be worth the Universe at the limit of Max’s shocking malevolence. Benedict Farce realises this and has open a Post Office savings account.
The only thing that can go wrong is if Max Von Lucrative realises his flawed logic or if Nature wins its appeal and Max is banished from the Universe.
A credit crunch is a reduction in the number of loans from a bank; less money, less wealth, less stuff. So why is your best mate still driving a new car every six months, going on fancy holidays and sending his mum flowers on a weekly basis. This is due to a human selection bias. Simply put you have many friends all doing slightly better than you in one area of your life. But your bastard mind makes it look like all of them are doing incredibly well in all areas of life and laughs at your pathetic achievements. Dust off that Duke of Edinburgh bronze award and be proud. But that’s another story (See 125 Animals/Humans/Mind).
Maximilly Von Lucrative (See 98 Employment/jobs/lawyers) invented the credit crunch in an attempt to bankrupt Benedict Farse (See 30 Animals/Humans/Bill Gates). To create a credit crunch you need a sustained period of careless and inappropriate lending. Loans turn sour. This leads to losses for lenders and the borrowers. Interest rates should normally rise to make it more difficult to borrow, less money and everyone goes bankrupt. But this hasn’t happened. Interest rates have gone down and there is more money sloshing about than lube at a lesbian lido.
What went wrong?
Nothing.
Max is right on course to bring down the Mighty Farse. Because Max is a really evil man, he has decided to inflate the bubble again, so the impending crash will be even more catastrophic.
Fortunately Max has such utter, diabolical adamantine depravity he will inflate this bubble to infinity. So one new pence invested today will be worth the Universe at the limit of Max’s shocking malevolence. Benedict Farce realises this and has open a Post Office savings account.
The only thing that can go wrong is if Max Von Lucrative realises his flawed logic or if Nature wins its appeal and Max is banished from the Universe.
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