81 Entertainment / Practical Jokes / Stink Bombs

Contrary to their promise, stink bombs do not resemble the scent of general flatulence, but instead reek of a rather metallic combination of bleach and dead cats. Stink Bombs were first invented as an aphrodisiac for the self-tormenting people of South Shitty in Herefordshire, the idea being that if you could still find your loved one attractive when they smelt of dead animals, it was a match made in heaven. The plan backfired over several generations though as only the offspring of the sickest self-tormentors were born, and in a rather speedy evolutionary process started to see their noses seal up at birth. The few last remaining south shitters all now secretly live in abject squalor in an area sealed off from the rest of the country, others have moved to Stoke on Trent.
The largest stink bomb ever was recorded in the now-nonexistent town of Palar, fifty miles south of Brighton, where local magician Band-aid Nobbs, sick of his obvious genius being ignored, sat next to the air-conditioning outflow pipe of an old peoples home for thirteen years storing the collective stench in a compressed air-tank in the back of his magimobile. Upon his death he insisted that his assistant, the lovely Angela Donk, transfer the entire tank into his lower colon before sealing all available orifices up with sticky tape. Although underestimating the power which lay in his slowly self-digesting corpse, he correctly calculated the time it would take for the sticky tape to give and, as the vicar laid the first crumbs of earth upon Nobbs' coffin, the once-magician exploded at such force that half of east Sussex was obliterated and washed away into the sea. Ships still avoid the deadly Nobbs Point due to tales of large brown nappy-shaped sea-monsters viciously feeding on hapless fisherman, although the area has recently overtaken Blackpool as the most popular holiday destination of the sealed-face aqua-people of west Staffordshire.