120 Animals/Humans/Japanese Women

Japanese women were put on the earth by God to give paedophiles something legal to do. And it almost worked. Until 1994, most youngsters outside of a church environment could skip around quite freely in playgrounds and shopping centres without the fear of an unknown uncle offering them a lift to see his latest litter of Afghans. The soft skin, cute silliness, partiality to gym-slips and virtually hair-free bodies of Gods newest creation kept the youngster-obsessed social outcasts confined to oxygen bars in Soho and ordering their evenings entertainment directly from the internet. All that changed however in the early spring of 1994 when the rather horrid Dr Wu’s Hairy Asian Beaver website opened its domain to the masses. Such was the utter disgust at Linda Chu from Osaka’s unkempt downstairs areas that instantly all the worlds paedophiles switched straight back to their original preferences. It would seem then that the Japanese woman had no further use on the planet and Pope Geldof the 3rd was given his instructions to deal with the situation. And that would have been that, had it not been for a rather unfortunate incident in Splitlipskis Gentlemens venue in Prague the following day, where a particular worse for wear God was so impressed with the accuracy in leggy Sun Pok’s use of her creators carefully crafted reproductive organs to fire ping pong balls at St Peters head from the stage that he instantly issued a statement to the pope that he should stop the cull immediately. To this day, Japanese women continue to thrive in all areas of the world such as niche internet porn genres, all thanks to a little-known stripper in Eastern Europe and her incredible powerful vagina. Although it is rumoured that God does now admit in his upcoming autobiography ‘Bible 2: I Can’t Be Everywhere at Once You Know – HaHa’ that Yoko Ono was indeed a mistake.