85 Mysteries/Puzzles/Why Does the Plug Always Get Caught in Furniture When You Try to Move the Lamp?

The Coven of Dampness, a group of Satanist from Shropshire, invented the BS1363 British 3 pin plug in 1963. Their chief tenet was ‘Liberation through Irritation’, and so not being ‘Hammer House of Horror’ hardcore type Satanists, they only wanted to cause a little mischief. The original design was to cause mild annoyance to people positioning electrical appliances around the home. However they forgot to take into consideration the dreaded house move. Consequently the BS1363 has been responsible for more failed marriages and relationships since the invention of the secretary. Several attempts by the coven to recall their product of destruction brought them in to negotiations with the Cabal of Carnage, a small group operating out of Basildon. CoC had created the lazy tongued celebrity chef Jamie Oliver, and had been grooming him successfully to become the next anti-Christ. After a promising debut Jamie soon started to go off the rails and began doing unexpectedly good deeds. The final straw was his school dinner initiative, potentially the most beneficial nutritional program to mankind. Despite this monumental stroke of goodness, Jamie remained really annoying, with his mockney accent and scooter twat act. CoC got wind that CoD were trying to recall the BS1363 and saw an opportunity. They decided they could take responsibility for each other’s creations.
Since taking responsibility for the 3 pin plug, CoC have issued a statement to the various comedy acts and ‘Universal Truths’ Internet sites: ‘The most painful household incident is not stepping on a 3 pin plug whilst wearing socks, it is having your genitalia burnt by hot metal. We are developing ways to make nude ironing more popular.’
CoD have bought Mr Oliver a lifetime subscription to ‘Cockney Lambretta Monthly’, and successfully persuaded him against having speech therapy.