103 Humans/People/The Unluckiest Man

Born on the 13th of January 1313, Brother Unctuous Sack of the Order of Beard Huggers is widely considered to have been the most unfortunate man in history. Not blessed with looks, folk would often mistake him for a large ginger pigsty and throw scraps of left over food into him. He could be seen shambling along a path, irritably removing turnips from his cassock and picking nettle soup from his meagre beard. Another curse was extreme intelligence and he was plagued with wonderful ideas that he had no way of realising as no one would listen to a soliloquising swine shack. More frustrated than Gary Glitter on a bouncy castle, he took up the hobby of partridge pickling. Vinegar soaked fowl gave him chronic flatulence which only added to his loneliness. No one in the order could find the compassion to hug his beard and Unctuous found it difficult to hug theirs when his love was not reciprocated.
Things got worse when in an act of desperation he converted to Islam so that he could claim he was born on the 15th of Ramadan 712, a Tuesday, instead of the supposed unlucky date of his birth under the Gregorian calendar. But Lady Luck has no appreciation of common superstition and on his first pilgrimage to Mecca he became know as ‘The Man Who Gives Succour To Pigs’ and was repeatedly stoned for his association with the 'filthy animal'.
Miserable, alone and bruised Brother Sack had a rare moment of clarity and decided to embrace his talents. He invited a piglet named Elizabeth to take up residence within his person. Pigs have no prejudice and Betty loved her new home. Unctuous was ecstatically happy that something needed him and cried uncontrollably from emotion and worried that the bliss would end. The dehydration weakened his immune system and he died 13 days later from swine disease.
As ginger people rarely decay, Betty continued to live all her natural life in Brother Unctuous, happily gorging on the nutritious scrapes that folk continued to throw.