48 HUMANITY/GENERAL STUPIDITY/RACIAL HATRED

Up until March 29th 1983, all colours, creeds, religions and castes had indeed lived together in perfect harmony, tolerating and appreciating each other’s beliefs and diversities with interest and fervour. However, such was the utter contempt and horror at Stevie Wonder and Paul McCartney’s appallingly sycophantic collaboration ‘Ebony and Ivory’ that within twelve minutes of its first airing on national television, the worlds first known race riots broke out simultaneously in Los Angeles, Oldham, Somalia, Brixton, South Africa, Texas and most of Eastern Europe. The songs co-producer Andy McFluffer, life-long member of far right-wing underground political party, The Barnsley Supremacists, has since been awarded multiple accolades by Campaign magazine for one of the greatest marketing coups of all time.
Such was the escalated sensitivity surrounding music and its new-found possible link to racial bloodshed that just two weeks later, during a live performance on middle eastern TV favourite, Shalom of the Pops, the thus-far tranquil continent was instantly thrown into infinite military instability the moment Kazakhstan’s most celebrated comedian cum songwriter uttered the words to the chorus of his highly awaited new release.
Most historians believe it a little harsh to lay the blame for an entire territory’s political problems on a simple singing light entertainer. Others, however, admit that the moment they heard Mohammad ‘Chubby’ Ali gaily holler the words ‘Allah, Allah, who the f*ck is Allah’ they feared the worst.