56 JOBS/ENTERTAINMENT/MAGICIANS

At school the hierarchy goes something like this:
Girls: More mature in everyway. Better at everything cerebral. More creative and artful, but it does all go pear shaped when they get boyfriends.
School Bully: He is the bloke that reached puberty at the age of 8. He quickly realises he wont amount to much due to the Neanderthal gene. This gene, while making him preternaturally strong, weakens his brain and dooms him to a life as a builder’s mate. As he will die early of pork pie abuse by the age of 32, he decides to have some fun at other people’s expense.
The Heart Throb: This Lothario has the bully in his pocket because he can get the ladies and that makes Dave the Caveman’s winky feel nice and funny.
The Musician: Plays either the guitar or saxophone. The recorder doesn’t count. Sits there playing Baker Street or Stairway, and girls swoon. This man will be the first to loose his cherry.
The Joker: Everyone loves a joker. He amuses his colleagues with his fine wit. The bully unfortunately has trouble understanding his references and puns, so the joker will punch himself in the face in the name of physical comedy, and in order to avoid a substantial beating from Dave the Caveman.
The Ordinary Joe: He gets along just fine. He doesn’t do too much work. No outstanding talent. Does a line in soft pornography s to keep Dave at bay. He’ll end up as an under manager at the local Budgen with a golf handicap.
The Swot: he is the target for abuse by all the above. He will be psychologically scared for life and will end up in Government getting his own back with stealth taxes, by-laws and designing impossibly complex household waste recycling programs.
The Ginger Kid that Smells of Biscuits: Everyone is cruel to this person. He sits alone at all times and so has plenty of time to think. He will either dye his hair or become enlightened. Ginger Kids secretly control everything.
The Magician: A person so wretched that the only way he can get attention is by learning complex puzzles to fool people. No one likes a magician; irritating catch phrases, smug grins, annoying tricks that make you feel stupid because you cannot do them and really bad dress sense. If its not velvet jackets and ruffs it’s the other extreme of leather trousers and ripped t-shirt with homoerotic tattoos. The greatest trick these repellent venal molluscs have learnt is how not to get beaten to death by a baseball bat and to have their rotting carcasses left on a village greens as a warning to others.