Sometimes a human will belch so violently that a small piece of vomit will pop up into the mouth. This will be swallowed back down with a slight grimace. If however the Vurper was asked to spit the piece out into a sterile cup and then told to swallow it back down, that grimace would turn to a facial deformity that would make Ross Kemp sleep with the light on. It is a puzzle, same piece of vomit, same temperature, consistency, texture, smell and taste, yet as soon as it leaves the body it becomes a thing of total revulsion.
Ear wax too, a person would be happy to poke around with a cotton bud, but if you asked that person to introduce the wax to the body orally, they would rather introduce their grandparents to Harold Shipman.
Semen tends to prompt a mixed reaction, ranging from surprise to ecstasy, depending on gender of the consumer and the origin of the white hot love lava.
Fanny batter in the heat of the moment is delicious but you wouldn’t want to sip it cold. Even Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall would pass that one up, ‘Placenta marinated in tepid bile any day, but fanny batter straight from the fridge, are you off your rocker?’
Spittle is a strange one. Kissing with tongues is very popular in most cultures, but gobbing into a loved one’s mouth from a distance isn’t.
Semi dried mucus in the form of nasal detritus is about the only bodily secretion that has universal recognition as a tasty snack.
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